Your Memories Are Stored In Your Teeth

If you leave me I'll forget you

One more reason for me to worry about my continuing avoidance of the dentist: “new research shows that good oral care can prevent heart disease, diabetes and even dementia.” Sigh. Okay, give it to me, Science.

Scientists at the University of Kentucky in America put people aged between 75 and 90 through a test in which they were asked to recall 10 words they had been presented with five minutes earlier. All the participants, who repeated the test over three consecutive years, were from similar educational backgrounds, but there was variation in their results. People with fewer teeth scored lower than those with more teeth in the first test — and their scores declined far quicker thereafter.

I mean, okay, whatever, I’m already going to get heart disease from all the bacon, but Alzheimer’s? I guess I will have to start smoking and talking on my cell phone more frequently to counteract the whole thing. Because there’s no way you’re getting me into that chair, you SADISTS.