Cell Phone Radiation Will Ensure That You Do Not Forget About Your Brain Tumors

Cell phones: Everyone knows their radiation is rotting your brain and turning your testicles into shriveled shells of lazy, mutated sperm. But what if there was actually a positive aspect to the whole thing? What if, for instance, your iPhone kept you from developing the horrible symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease? Take it away, Science!

Scientists at the University of South Florida studied mice that are genetically predisposed to develop Alzheimer’s and its accompanying memory problems. Based on previous research, the researchers hypothesized that radiation from phones would accelerate progression of the disease be­cause other types of radiation cause free radical damage. The team used an antenna to expose some of the mice to electromagnetic waves that approximated two hours of daily cell phone use. To the scientists’ surprise, the mice that were dosed with cell phone radiation did not suffer from memory impairments as they aged-unlike their radiation-free counterparts. The mice exposed to phone waves retained their youthful ability to navigate a once familiar maze after time spent in different mazes.

There are plenty of “still to early to tell” caveats on this one, but I’m convinced! In fact, I’m going to go make a call on my phone while smoking a cigarette, just to be on the safe side!