Advice
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The Light at the End of the Tunnel Is Closer And Warmer Than You Think
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Get A Tattoo Of My Face On Your Butt
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The Only Person Who is Truly to Blame Is Anthony Weiner
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Football is a Reminder That The World is Cruel and Death is Inevitable
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Live As Long As You Can, And Die Forever
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Kids Are Great If You Hate Money and Sleep
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Don’t Say “Pick Your Brain”
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Live Like You’ve Already Died and You’re Just Watching Your Relatives Masturbate
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Becoming A Poet, Hating The Holidays
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Writing a Book is Like Riding a Bike: You Shouldn’t Do Either