Football Pick Haikus For Week 3

by JIM BEHRLE September 22, 2011

Sunday, September 25

At Cincinnati -2.5 San Francisco
Bengals aren’t doormats.
The 49ers play tough.
But I still won’t watch. PICK: 49ERS

New England -8.5 At Buffalo
Bills have won two but
Only Gisele beats Brady.
Bills might beat the spread. PICK: PATRIOTS

At Philadelphia -7 NY Giants
Mike Vick spits blood
and Kafka is his back-up.
Dream Team Doesn’t Wake Up. PICK: GIANTS

At New Orleans -4 Houston
Saints’ two straight loses
the worst thing about Nola
since the name Nola. PICK: TEXANS

Saints are 1 and 1.
My other haiku was wrong.
I apologize. PICK: TEXANS

At Cleveland -2.5 Miami
Bush is a dud.
You can’t gain 100 yards
eating bad pizza. PICK: BROWNS

At Tennessee -6.5 Denver
Like God his father
Tim Tebow creates the world
then sits on Sunday. PICK: TITANS

Detroit -3.5 At Minnesota
This is the hundredth
between the Lions and Vikes.
Hope the roof stays up! PICK: LIONS

At Carolina -3.5 Jacksonville
Last Week Cam Newton
threw four big interceptions!
Thank God Jags can’t catch PICK: PANTHERS

At San Diego -14.5 Kansas City
The Chargers again
Are taking September off.
Chiefs taking year off. PICK: CHARGERS

NY Jets -3.5 At Oakland
Raiders are scary
because old men in black might
be Tommy Lee Jones. PICK: RAIDERS

Baltimore -3.5 At St. Louis
Ravens, great week one,
totally blown out week two.
Pretend Rams are Pitt! PICK: RAVENS

At Tampa Bay -1.5 Atlanta
The Buccaneers play
in this cool pirate ship but
still totally suck. PICK FALCONS

Arizona -3.5 At Seattle
Where have all the great
Seattle bands gone away to?
Portland, Oregon? PICK: CARDS

Green Bay -3.5 At Chicago
Packers look awesome
And the Bears D looks good.
Grow a cool mustache! PICK: BEARS

Pittsburgh -10.5 At Indianapolis
Until Manning returns
The Colts should be banished from
National T.V. PICK: STEELERS

Monday, September 26

At Dallas -5.5 Washington
Romo broke a rib
and it tore open his lung.
Redskins still racist. PICK: COWBOYS

Last week’s Football Haiku Picks went 7–8–1. Season to date is 13–17–2.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.