Now We've Got Ourselves A Season

My first thought when I woke up last Friday was that the media was making far too much of LeBron James’ “return” to New York, because in virtually every way measurable, he was never actually here in the first place.

Granted, someone at Nike had assured me before he’d signed his last three-year deal in Cleveland in 2007 that he would use his freedom to take his talents to New York, thereby enjoying a 30% escalator in his Nike deal.

But that clearly didn’t happen, and, he subsequently left both of our reputations in relative tatters. Sadly, if I had a dollar for every person I told my scoop to over the years (sorry, friend at Nike who has subsequently — and perhaps deservedly — been terminated), I would have enough money to purchase the block of ESPN time directly after “The Decision” to announce my views on popular culture and its unfortunate lack of black metal iconography. And I’m sure that the network, which appears to have entered into an era of time-share programming with outside entities, would’ve been only too happy to oblige me.

Besides, forget the weeks of sweaty headlines, the Knicks were never really in the LeBron sweepstakes, and they knew it. Or at least team president Donnie Walsh, as savvy a basketball guy as has ever been through town, did. For the past few seasons, the team was dreadful and filled with failed rocket scientists like Al Harrington and professional suit wearers like Eddy Curry. The Knicks had been so depressing to watch, I’m sure even Coach Mike D’Antoni’s not-as-giant-as-Bill-Cowher’s-but-still-too-big-for-his-head fake teeth tried to run away on numerous occasions. Still, New York fans like to hate players who we feel cannot “deal” with coming here and our bitterness oozes.

Unfortunately, the entire season has been a testament to the fact that LeBron plays extra-extra well when he’s booed. Therefore, I personally wasn’t expecting him to take the night off, with the Knicks finally playing professional basketball again, and so many famous people in attendance. And…he didn’t. Knicks fans seemed shocked, but they shouldn’t have been. Clevelanders did everything short of sacrifice the guy’s dog and he performed amazing feats of skill, with a side of cruelty. So the results of the game — Heat: 1004, Knicks: 17 — were both commonplace and predictable. Ho-hum. Thirteen wins in a row, probably fourteen by the time you read this.

But the day after that game, I realized that LeBron’s grim payback tour is over. He has now faced and demolished every team that he pretended had a chance to sign him. And so the manufactured drama that we have all fed upon has dissipated and we can focus on…basketball. And Miami’s fake cheesiness.

So here goes nothing: The Boston Celtics appear to be keeping the Heat close enough, believing (as some folks do) that eventually, the Heat’s lack of depth and serviceable role players will catch up to the team and they will fall back into the pack. The Celtics are resourceful and deep and, let’s face it, Tang dynasty favorite Heat forward Juwan Howard (who was part of the original Fab Five that included Moses and Ramses II), won’t be able to guard whichever Celtics big man that Chris Bosh isn’t pretending to check. And watching LeBron chasing Rajon Rondo for 40 minutes is like an episode of “Tom & Jerry.”

But in the past week, the Knicks have been force-fed their glass slipper and the Bulls can’t seem to shed their “mercurial in a bad way” label. No one in their right mind believes that the Hawks are for real and, the Pacers? Yeah, not so much. There are a few other middling-to-crummy teams (Sixers, Wizards, Bucks) that are as dangerous as one of those toothless river catfish. The only threat the Nets pose is the spreading of germs.

But another power in the East — an intra-state one, no less — made two relatively blockbuster-y trades last weekend that has reshuffled the East’s deck, two full months before the trading deadline.

On any level, other than future salary ouchiness (by accepting two grossly overpaid players), the trade makes a world of sense for the Orlando Magic, a team that possesses the game most dominant interior force — Dwight Howard, a guy who almost no one has an answer for. Now that the Heat have proven that it’s okay to accept less money to play for rings, team president Otis Smith wants to keep Howard happy, and in the swamps of Florida.

The players the team added (Jason Richardson, Gilbert Arenas and Hedo Turkoglu) can all create their own shots and score in bunches. Gilbert Arenas is an amazing talent, a fearless big-shot taker, and an occasionally unhinged doofus. But it wasn’t too long ago that Arenas was considered one of the games’ five best players. You know, before the weapon’s show-and-tell that derailed his career.

By his first stint in Orlando, Turkoglu had already proven he could run an effective pick-and-role with Howard. And he can get to the line, which is how a team is going to combat the Heat’s talent: by putting their starters in foul trouble.

Best of all, the team rid itself of Vince Carter, who has played his entire career with a kind of concussed indifference.

Although the Heat have tried their best to brush it off with a “Huh, did someone make a trade?” this move will have certainly caught Pat Riley’s attention and, from anyone’s perspective, the NBA season just got a whole lot more interesting.

Which is my coy way of saying: the season just got interesting.

Tony Gervino is a New York City-based editor and writer obsessed with honing his bio to make him sound quirky. He can also be found here.

Photo by Keith Allison, from Flickr.