Will Campaign Make Britain's Children Less Sexy?

Will Campaign Make Britain’s Children Less Sexy?

Following up on its victory against the pedophile bathing suit, Britain’s Sun discovers that practically every piece of children’s clothing on Knifecrime Island is designed to make pre-tweens look much more attractive to the teeming mass of pedophiles who walk upon England’s mountains green (while also offering convenient pockets in which to conceal knives). “Kids as young as seven are targeted with gear that could lure paedophiles, including padded bras and provocative underwear,” reports the paper, including a pair of panties for 7-year-olds emblazoned with the phrase “You’ve scored!” This is, of course, unacceptable. I understand the British are inclined to dismiss us as brash young upstarts, but perhaps they could take a lesson from this country’s childhood obesity epidemic, which renders padding of any kind completely unnecessary. In any event, I wouldn’t worry too much about the knickers: If past practice is any indication, these little girls will be shedding them on the streets in just a few years.