Monserrate Savagely Beaten

Good news from yesterday’s election in Queens: “Popular Assemblyman Jose Peralta crushed [slashy former State Senator Hiram] Monserrate with 65% of the vote to his rival’s 27%, according to the unofficial final tally in the special election.” A defiant Monserrate told supporters that “This is not the last of Hiram Monserrate,” so, you know, watch out if you see him near the stemware.