A Field Guide to the Acronymical Kingdom, Part Two

A Field Guide to the Acronymical Kingdom, Part Two

by Willa Paskin

The Wtf, an invasive species originally native to the Idaho Rockies, can now be found from Patagonia to the tropics, the Sahara to the rain forest, nature preserves to toxic waste sites.

Despite being remarkably common, it is rarely seen. Its hunting technique, slapping the face and extremities of its prey with its powerful lower flippers, often renders said prey unconscious. The Wtf then uses its nimble, three-fingered paws to rifle the victim’s orifices, searching for bugs, grubs and other edible organic matter.

Experts believe the Wtf’s colorful wings are an adaptation that signals to predators that the Wtf is poisonous. (They are not, though they are generally regarded to be unpleasant tasting, except in France where they are often served with Ortolans.)

Similarly, experts have yet to come up with a satisfactory explanation for the existence of the Wtf’s head plumage. Despite its feather-like appearances, it is composed, like a rhino’s horn, of keratin and has the hardness of bone.

Previously: The Omg

Willa Paskin is features editor at Blackbook and a contributing writer at Double X. This is the beginning of her new life as a cartoonist.