NFL Haiku Picks, Week Ten

Image: Dave Parker via Flickr

11/9 8:25 ET Seattle -6 At Arizona

Arizona is
Probably a wonderful
place but the Cards suck

PICK: SEAHAWKS

11/12 1:00 ET Minnesota -1 At Washington

Purple’s a color
We all should wear more and think
About Prince, who ruled

PICK: VIKINGS

11/12 1:00 ET At Chicago -5.5 Green Bay

The Packers couldn’t
Win a barfight against a
Bunch of monks right now

PICK: BEARS

11/12 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -10 At Indianapolis

Without Andrew Luck
The Colts are only the fifth
Worst thing in Indy

PICK: STEELERS

11/12 1:00 ET At Jacksonville -3.5 LA Chargers

The Jaguars are like
Football Menudo except
I like Menudo

PICK: CHARGERS

11/12 1:00 ET NY Jets -2.5 At Tampa Bay

Ryan Fitzpatrick
Ex-Jet Harvard Grad will send
His old team to Hell

PICK: BUCCANEERS

11/12 1:00 ET At Tennessee -4.5 Cincinnati

Autumn coils around
The feet, arms blazing outward
Don’t watch this game, man

PICK: TITANS

11/12 1:00 ET New Orleans -3 At Buffalo

I must still Bill-leave
The Saints have always let me
Down consistently

PICK: BILLS

11/12 1:00 ET At Detroit -12 Cleveland

Cleveland couldn’t win
A snowball fight against a
Pile of dead lemmings

PICK: LIONS

11/12 4:05 ET At LA Rams -12 Houston

You should go see Thor
Instead of watching this game
Because Thor’s funny

PICK: RAMS

11/12 4:25 ET At Atlanta -3 Dallas

Both of these teams are
Kind of a mess and not in
A fun kinda way

PICK: FALCONS

11/12 4:25 ET NY Giants -2.5 At San Francisco

Somehow both these teams
Will lose this game and a hole
In time will open

PICK: 49ers

11/12 8:30 ET New England -7.5 At Denver

The Patriots don’t
Ever win in Denver like
Never forever

PICK: BRONCOS

11/13 8:30 ET At Carolina -9 Miami

Dolphins’ games should be
Broadcast at Gitmo to freak
Mean terrorists out

PICK: PANTHERS

Jim Behrle lives in Jersey City, NJ. Don’t forget to turn your clocks back again this week because fuck this, man.