NFL Haiku Picks, Week Four

Image: Dave Parker via Flickr

9/28 8:25 ET At Green Bay -7 Chicago

The most radical
Thing you could do this week is
Watching some football

PICK: PACKERS

10/1 9:30 AM New Orleans -2.5 At Miami (London)

Jay Cutler will be
So jetlagged he might somehow
Throw a few touchdowns

PICK: DOLPHINS

10/1 1:00 ET At New England -9 Carolina

Instead of kneeling
Cam Newton’s form of protest
Will be playing well

PICK: PANTHERS

10/1 1:00 ET At Dallas -7 LA Rams

When Jerry Jones smiles
And kneels make sure your wallet’s
Still in your pocket

PICK: RAMS

10/1 1:00 ET At Minnesota Off Detroit

If the Vikings don’t
Defeat them then surely the
Refs will screw Lions

PICK: VIKINGS

10/1 1:00 ET Tennessee -1.5 At Houston

Two great young QBs
Square off in a battle to
Kick the last field goal

PICK: TEXANS

10/1 1;00 ET Jacksonville -3.5 At NY Jets

The Jets are on a roll!
A two game winning streak would
Be green heaven

PICK: JETS

10/1 1:00 ET Cincinnati -3 At Cleveland

Fight for Ohio!
This game will somehow end up
In a boring tie

PICK: BROWNS

10/1 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -3 At Baltimore

A great rivalry
Has descended into a
purple formless lull

PICK: STEELERS

10/1 1:00 ET At Atlanta -8 Buffalo

I Bill-lieve that the
Bills defense is pretty good
And will take the points

PICK: BILLS

10/1 4:05 ET At Tampa Bay -3 NY Giants

I still don’t like the
Weird digital clock numbers
Font used by Tampa

PICK: GIANTS

10/1 4:05 ET At LA Chargers -1 Philadelphia

The LA Chargers
Play their games in a soccer
Stadium. They suck.

PICK: EAGLES

10/1 4:05 ET At Arizona -7 San Francisco

The 49ers
Couldn’t win a head butt from
An angry drunk guy

PICK: CARDINALS

10/1 4:25 ET At Denver -2.5 Oakland

The Raiders always
Play the Broncos tough but the
Air is just too thin

PICK: BRONCOS

10/1 8:30 ET At Seattle -13 Indianapolis

No poem about
This dogshit game! Instead think
About some puppies.

PICK: COLTS

10/2 8:30 ET At Kansas City -7 Washington

The Redskins are the
Second-most offensive thing
In D.C. these days

PICK: CHIEFS

Jim Behrle lives in Jersey City, NJ. Haiku Picks went 4-11 last week. That is kind of amazingly bad.