Football Pick Haikus For Week 13

Thursday, November 29

At Atlanta -3.5 New Orleans

Actual great game
on the NFL Network!
I’ll take that half point. PICK: SAINTS

Sunday, December 2

At Chicago — 3.5 Seattle

My heart says Seahawks
but my heart doesn’t really
make any money. PICK: BEARS

At Green Bay -8 Minnesota

Green Bay should play
angry after getting beat
down, but I like points. PICK: VIKINGS

San Francisco -7 At St. Louis

Last time these guys tied.
Which Niners’ quarterback will
get crushed by Rams’ rush? PICK: RAMS

At NY Jets -4.5 Arizona

Things are so bad for
the Jets that something has to
go their way for once. PICK: JETS

Carolina -3 At Kansas City

Only the crazy fans
of Kansas City can lift
Chiefs team to a push. PICK: CHIEFS

At Detroit -4.5 Indianapolis

Lions coach will find
some other new arcane way
to lose at football. PICK: COLTS

At Buffalo -5.5 Jacksonville

Chad Henne is my
new fantasy quarterback.
Yes, I’m in last place. PICK: JAGS

New England -7.5 At Miami

Pats usually choke a
game to the Dolphins yearly.
But I love Brady. PICK: PATS

Houston -6 At Tennessee

Schaub recovering
nicely from getting a stray
cleat to his red zone. PICK: TEXANS

At Denver -7 Tampa Bay

In the thin air of
Mile High Stadium pirates
get blown away. Arrr! PICK: BRONCOS

At Baltimore -8 Pittsburgh

Without Big Ben at
QB the Steelers are less
fun than Whitney’s show. PICK: STEELERS

At Oakland PK Cleveland

Browns haven’t had a road
win since Will and Grace were
secretly banging. PICK: BROWNS

Cincinnati -2.5 At San Diego

The Chargers are what
I think about to help me
stop an erection. PICK: BENGALS

At Dallas -10 Philadelphia

Neither team deserves
to be in games broadcast on
national TV. PICK: EAGLES

Monday, December 3

NY Giants -2.5 At Washington

The Pistol Offense
starring Griffin and Morris
stun sleeping Giants. PICK REDSKINS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 9–6–1. That’s 82–91–4 for the season. Closing the gap!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.