Football Pick Haikus For Week 3
Thursday, September 20
At Carolina -2.5 NY Giants
Cam Newton versus
Giants’ torched secondary?
I smell barbeque! PICK: PANTHERS
Sunday, September 23
At Chicago -7.5 St. Louis
Jay Cutler is not
one of those quarterbacks that
you want on your team. PICK: RAMS
At Dallas -8 Tampa Bay
Most of Mitt Romney’s
47% are
Dallas Cowboy fans. PICK: COWBOYS
San Francisco -6.5 At Minnesota
There’s something about
Coach Jim Harbaugh that is just
very off-putting. PICK: 49ERS
Detroit -3.5 At Tennessee
If the Titans win,
it will definitely be
because of scab refs. PICK: LIONS
At Washington-3 Cincinnati
RG3 should be
named the new Secretary
of Pure Awesomeness. PICK: WASHINGTON
NY Jets -2.5 At Miami
Darrelle Revis is
so good you never get to
see him on TV. PICK: DOLPHINS
At New Orleans -9 Kansas City
The Saints are better
in Verizon commercials
than Reality. PICK: SAINTS
Buffalo-3 At Cleveland
Picking the Browns to
win every game sounds like a
really lame book deal. PICK: BROWNS
At Indianapolis -3 Jacksonville
Maurice Jones-Drew
will be double-teamed all game.
Jags will get shut out. PICK: COLTS
Philadelphia -3.5 At Arizona
Cast-off quarterback
Kevin Kolb gets revenge like
a cheesesteak gone wrong. PICK: CARDINALS
At San Diego -3 Atlanta
This would make a good
Super Bowl with maybe The
Pixies at Halftime. PICK: FALCONS
Houston -2 At Denver
When Peyton Manning
loses he looks exactly like
that Droopy Dog. PICK: TEXANS
Pittsburgh -4 At Oakland
What’s a great place to
lose one’s virginity? The
Oakland Coliseum. PICK: STEELERS
At Baltimore -3 New England
Ray Lewis, hello.
Please do not hurt my boyfriend
Tom Brady — Thanks, Jim. PICK: PATS
Monday, September 24
Green Bay -3 At Seattle
Seahawks win at home
because of ‘The Twelfth Man’ and
‘The Patchouli Stink.’ PICK: SEAHAWKS
Haiku Picks went 6–9–1 last Week. For the season that’s 15–16–1.
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.