Melanie Velarde, "Parcel"

Christmas is still a ways off.

There are two full workweeks until Christmas. Which kind of person are you, the kind who says, “That’s great, I hate Christmas and everything about it, keep it as far away from me as possible, I will put up with as many holiday parties as I have to just so long as it’s not fucking Christmas,” or the kind who is all, “Oh my God, two weeks is forever, how am I going to get through every agonizing minute of work and crowds and socializing and forced joy until it’s the actual holiday, please just make it fucking Christmas already”? Whoever you are, I advise you to ease into this week, because if early indications are anything to go by it will be just as painful as all weeks are now and probably more so. Here’s something vague and gentle to get you started. Enjoy.