Football Pick Haikus For Week 16
December 22
Houston -6 At Indianapolis
Can Indy’s back-up
quarterback beat Houston’s third-
string QB? Who cares. PICK: COLTS
December 24
At Kansas City -2.5 Oakland
Deal with the devil
Chiefs struck to beat the Packers
lasts another week. PICK: CHIEFS
Denver -3 At Buffalo
Tim Tebow comes to
Buffalo, beats the Bills and
parts Niagara Falls. PICK: BRONCOS
At Tennessee -7.5 Jacksonville
This game matches up
Two teams I’d like to contract
out of existence. PICK: JAGUARS
At Cincinnati -4 Arizona
The Bengals need this
to stay in playoff hunt but
they’re still the Bengals. PICK: CARDINALS
At New England -9.5 Miami
The Patriots rest
Tom Brady and Wes Welker.
Start Damon, Affleck. PICK: DOLPHINS
At Baltimore -13 Cleveland
Only on Christmas Eve
Could the Browns battle proudly
to beat this huge spread. PICK: BROWNS
At NY Jets -3 NY Giants
This Game’s Loser should
have to change their name from New
York to New Jersey. PICK: GIANTS
At Washington -6.5 Minnesota
“Luck” is a weird show
on HBO but Andrew Luck
may soon be a Vike. PICK: REDSKINS
At Carolina -7.5 Tampa Bay
I feel sorry for
all twenty devoted fans
of the Buccaneers. PICK:PANTHERS
At Pittsburgh -15 St. Louis
Steelers don’t have a
quarterback, but that shouldn’t
be a big issue. PICK: STEELERS
At Detroit -2.5 San Diego
The Chargers are now
suddenly fierce, just in time
to fire their coach Norv. PICK: LIONS
San Francisco -2.5 At Seattle
Seahawks have won
three straight since I started to
wear their knit green cap PICK: SEAHAWKS
At Dallas -2 Philadelphia
This is a game with
huge playoff implications.
Romo will screw up. PICK: EAGLES
At Green Bay -13 Chicago
’Twas Christmas Night and
nobody should watch this game.
“Peanuts” is better. PICK: BEARS
December 26
At New Orleans -6.5 Atlanta
This is secretly
the league’s best rivalry.
Jambalaya Bowl! PICK: FALCONS
Last week’s Haiku Picks went 11–4! A Holiday Miracle! Season to date is 106–116–6. Can we get to .500?!
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.