The Worst Sounds In The World
by Matthew Newton
15. Death by electrocution, government sanctioned or otherwise.
14. Human or animal run over, hit, or maimed by a car.
13. Civil War surgeon amputating limbs.
12. Guillotine in use; subsequent lopping and dropping.
11. Monkey having its skull bashed open, brains eaten in the name of impotence-curing cuisine.
10. Cannibal chewing on his own penis.
9. Involuntary dual nipple piercing via meat hooks.
8. Bones breaking and/or cracking.
7. Disembowelment (not even Mel Gibson, Freedom!).
6. Human body ejected through the windshield of an automobile.
5. Drawing and quartering.
4. Reanimated corpse biting into your (or a loved one’s or a stranger’s) neck muscles, jugular vein or assorted sinewy tissues.
3. Hair torn from a scalp, human or otherwise.
2. Frenzied knife-stabbing-a-sandbag sound most often heard in cinematic prison shank scenes, except here.
1. Curb stomp.
Matthew Newton is the publisher/editor at Annals of Americus, a digital journal documenting art and culture in post-empire America. He tweets via @newtonmatthew; has a personal blog too.