The Scariest High School Elective Ever

Criminology was taught by one Buddy Longo, a figure of legend around the halls of SHHS. I have no idea how Buddy was qualified to teach the class, other than the fact that he knew a lot of cops and had a friend who was supposedly some kind of former spy, who came in one day to show us the Zapruder film (“Look how his head comes off! Like the lid of a cookie jar.”) Buddy LOVED serial killers, and would enrapture us with stories about Edmund Kemper eating his mother’s larynx like he was reading “Make Way for Ducklings” to preschoolers.

— Every high school should have a senior elective called “Criminology”! It sounds like it’s good for young minds.