Bears Uncuddly

“Are bears really soft? Not compared to other mammals. Brown bears like Charmin’s Leonard do possess a thick pelt and an ample (though seasonal) layer of subcutaneous fat. Still, the softness of an animal is generally thought to depend upon the density and composition of its fur — and according to these metrics, bears are middling at best…. Mammals tend to have two kinds of body hair: long, coarse guard hairs and short, downy wool hairs. The fur of a brown bear or polar bear is about two-thirds the latter.”
 — This explanation of what bears have to do with toilet paper marketing never once mentions the inevitability of their defecating in a forest, but no matter, there are important bear facts within.