How Facebook Works, In Real English

1. Sometimes we’re going to use your picture and your name in ads. Maybe we’ll tell your friends, “Hey guys! This guy over here likes this thing, shouldn’t you?” It makes people buy more shit if we trick them like that. Since we’re going to use your name and picture one way or the other, it’s probably better if you tell us how you do and don’t want it used.
2. Seriously, though, we promise not to tell advertisers anything about you without your permission. See? When you get to know us, we’re not so bad.
3. On the other hand, we don’t have to tell you shit, either. Sometimes you’ll see something that looks like an ad, but maybe it isn’t, and you’ll be like, “Is that an ad, Facebook?” and we’ll be like, “…Good question.”

— Finally someone made Facebook’s Terms of Service intelligible. In four parts.