Potential Puncture Produces Pun Profusion

So two ice cream truck guys got into an altercation? What happened, Daily News? “Mister Softee brought a sugar cone to a knife fight.” Ah, so one of them brandished a blade. When were they seized by authorities? “[A]fter getting their licks in.” Was the constabulary able to prevent serious injury? “Cops arrived before either man was seriously creamed”. What will happen to them next? “They face a rocky road, with charges pending.” Sadly, nobody sang the Mister Softee jingle, which would have been quite appropriate in this case, but either way this is some top-notch work by the local tab, and I commend them for it.