Will The Car Of The Future Make Things Miserable For Alcoholics?

Did a man in Kentucky build a car that runs on bourbon? “The car will run on almost any bourbon, but she really purrs on Maker’s Mark,” says alleged inventor Mickey Nilsson. Color me skeptical, particularly with parody-ready material like this.

“Them two knuckleheads from that TV show American Pickers (Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz) stopped by here trying to steal from me. Offering me $200 for my old still. Said I had no use for it since making moonshine was illegal. After that smart-mouthed remark, I shot at em,” declared Nilsson. “Although I did sell the chubby one with the beard an old oil can for $40 before they ticked me off,” he said.

“After I’d run them off, I kept thinking about what they kept saying to me, ‘what are you going to do with all this stuff, you might as well sell it to us’. Well that left me pondering. Folks around these parts do a lot of pondering, so it wasn’t really nothing new for me as I ponder about something almost everyday. But this time my pondering gave me an idea, watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” Nilsson explains.

Even if it turns out to be the absolute truth, I find the whole thing deeply conflicting: I’m as keen as anyone to reduce our dependence on foreign oil, but there are many practical questions that remain to be resolved, specifically, if everyone’s going to be filling up their cars with bourbon, will there be any left for us to drink? I would hate if we solved one massive problem while creating an even bigger one. [Via]

Photo by Paul Joseph, from Flickr.