Farsighted Legislation Protects Your Terrible Nut Freedoms

“The Department is prohibited by law from restricting the serving of peanuts aboard aircraft unless a peer-reviewed study determines that serving of peanuts causes severe reactions among airline passengers. There has been no such peer-reviewed study, so we declined to take action at this time.”
 — The Department of Transportation cannot take away your American right to having peanuts — the second-worst nuts — on your terrible airplane ride.