Enormous Gay Kissing Protest to Erupt Shortly in London

The city of London, which is the capital of a country called England and also of a semi-unified archipelago called the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, is located on an island called Great Britain, and is in the grip of a gay panic. Earlier this week, two hot guys in glasses were bounced from a pub, the John Snow, for kissing, and now the pub is beset by both controversy and more kissing gays. And a Guardian liveblog! The “MASSIVE SAME-SEX SNOGATHON” begins in a few hours. It’s all so very 80s! And so two boys (Jonathan Williams and his buddy have a first date that goes down in… well, “history” would be a little extreme, but. Good news, too! They’ve elected to go on a second date. (Would be awkward otherwise, right?) Judging by the Facebook RSVP list, this is going to be a terrific place to meet boys. And also probably a great place to get glassed.