Your Gut Will Make You Go Blind

Bad news, fellas: “Piling on the pounds in middle-age could significantly increase a man’s risk of blindness later in life, according to new research. Scientists found an expanding waistline puts men in danger of developing age-related macular degeneration…. Australian researchers who carried out the study said even small changes in a man’s waist size can raise the risk of getting AMD by up to 75 per cent. However, women do not seem to be affected.” Researchers recommend avoiding red meat and eating a diet centered more around chicken and vegetables and nuts and other incredibly boring foods that have no flavor and make you hate life and wish you were blind, so at the very least you wouldn’t have to see your massive gut anymore. We all have to make trade-offs in this life. Except women, apparently.