Gayest Fashion Ad Ever Is Also the Most Confusing

Congratulations to Tommy Hilfiger’s latest, appearing in this month’s GQ. My God, who puts a sweater over his shoulders when he’s not even wearing a shirt? And why are those croquet balls mixing it up with those golf balls? Why is it hot enough to play croquet shirtless but cold enough to play golf with a blazer over some kind of warm-up zippie thing? Why are they dressing all Savannah and Palm Beach, all pastel and sockless, in what is clearly New England, due to the vegetation? Why did the gardeners do such a terrible job on that grass? And is it or is it not white shoe season? And when did they get matching love bracelets made out of their grandfather’s ties? Why is Tommy Hilfiger representing his stores as being based in New York, Shanghai, Milan and Istanbul? I mean, there’s one in the Jersey Gardens mall in Elizabeth, NJ, too, for starters. Other than all that, I want to live inside here, except it looks kind of humid.