The Thanksgiving Day Only-Fantasy Football League
by Jeff Johnson and David Roth
You’ve always wanted to try fantasy football, but you were worried that doing so would make you irresistibly attractive to members of the opposite sex. At work, people knowing you even dabbled in fantasy football would mean you’d be stuck taking regular breaks to accept on-the-spot sexual favors. Or, failing that, you keep meaning to watch the Detroit Lions lose by three scores on Thanksgiving afternoon, but are torn because sitting in a turkey-rank dining room drinking too sweet wine, talking about “life” with friends and family members is equally compelling.
This all gets fixed today.
Now you can live your fantasy football GM dreams and wake up on Friday without actually having to be someone with a fantasy football team. Now, finally, you will have something to “share” with dear friends and family on this day, and it won’t involve some musty board game or pet-chewed Jenga pieces or doing dishes together while listening to The Corrs. Together you can all sit and see if Shaun “Mayflower” Hill can hurl the touchdown pass that will bring your father-in-law to silent, fist-chewing tears. Download the following PDF, share it with your friends/hated family members ASAP and get drafting the one-day only Thanksgiving Day Fantasy Team that will change the dynamic of this blessed day… uh… beyond repair.
David Roth co-writes the Wall Street Journal’s Daily Fix, contributes to the sports blog Can’t Stop the Bleeding and has his own little website. And he tweets!
Jeff Johnson tweets here. He is also responsible for doing weird things with old sportscards here and here.