Let's Do This Thing! It's Election Night! Let's Meet and Discuss!

You guys, I’m literally ill with excitement. Tonight is that magical night when the punditry cycle is silenced — okay, briefly muted — by actual facts and events! It all begins now. Obviously we are all grown-ups so we know that the exit polling numbers are just for giggles. We pay them no mind. Also obviously, tonight we are watching, with great interest: Nevada (10 p.m.), Florida (polls close at 7 p.m.), Delaware (polls close at 8, also just for laffs), and California, (11 p.m.). Also at about 9:01 p.m., Carl Paladino’s ass should be handed to him and we can all move into a stage of missing him then forgetting him. What else?

What is already killing me is the AP EXIT POLL interpretation:

Voters are expressing dissatisfaction with President Barack Obama and the Congress, and they don’t have a favorable view of either the Democratic or Republican parties.

O RLY.