Now Athletes Are Monkeying Around At Commonwealth Games

“If that is happening, it shows that there is use of condoms and I think that is a very positive story. Athletes are being responsible.”
-Commonwealth Games Federation President Mike Fennell addresses reports that the drainage system in the athlete’s village cannot handle the thousands of condoms that have been flushed down its toilets. The Games-the quadrennial athletic competition between current and former members of the British empire-have already been plagued by late construction, wild dogs, snakes, dengue fever, and, of course packs of rampaging monkeys. I guess it’s good that Fennell can still try to see the bright side.