Run! The Great Twitter Mouseover Hack Is Eating Your Cheese! And Human Babies!

BREAKING NEWS. SIRENS. ETC. Twitter destroyed! America panics! My God, it’s full of spam! So we hereby declare today to be National Go Read A Gosh-Darned Book Day. Stop your inane, virus-shedding Tweeting and go consume some paper!

The best part of today is everyone’s urgent Tweets about how everyone should avoid Twitter. We urge you to go look for yourself. *Evil cackle* No but seriously, now how will we get our urgent recaps of America’s fine television shows?