Let's Have A Big Party To Celebrate The Return Of Chest Hair

“There are different ways to connect to your organic masculinity. Hair is one way to do it.”
 — Chest hair is in again, you guys! You can stop waxing and shaving and electrolysizing your chests! I know you have felt alienated from your manliness for a while now, but the concerns you couldn’t completely resolve by growing a beard will be fully assuaged by getting that thick thatch of pectoral matting back. My joy in seeing society once more register its approval for a tufted canopy up front is only tempered by my thoughts of those who didn’t make it through to see this happy day. But life is for the living, and the best way to know you’re alive is to affirm your virility by sharing your gigantic front shag with the rest of the world. I’ve never been prouder to be a man.