Must Focus On Importance Of Research, Must Focus On Importance Of Research

Talk to me about “jiggle,” Science: “Researchers from the University of Portsmouth in England and other schools recently attached reflective markers to the breasts of a group of female runners and had the women jog along a track while wearing various types of bras or forgoing breast support. The researchers charted the trajectories of the women’s breasts, using infrared cameras.” But to what end?

What the researchers found was that breast sway did, in fact, have a significant effect on the women’s running. When the runners were braless, their strides changed; they landed more heavily, with more of the impact force moving through the inside of their feet. This alteration in stride seemed to be related to “significantly higher amounts of breast movement in that direction,” said Jenny White, a doctoral candidate at the University of Portsmouth and the study’s lead author. As the breasts swung from side to side, so, in effect, the researchers hypothesized, did the women’s body weights. The implications of this finding are disquieting. “Higher forces exerted by the foot when running indicate a higher intensity of stress for a runner,” Ms. White said, “which has potential to increase physiological demand.” The extra forces also, over time, can “lead to the development of stress-related injuries.”

This is actually very important research. If we can find a way to allow women to remain fit while reducing the risk of injury we can quite literally improve both mental and physical well-being throughout our society. I’m very serious when I say that, particularly given rising obesity rates and our more sedentary lifestyles, it’s extremely vital that we focus on solutions that will help people stay in shape and increase positive health outcomes. Which is why I am so ashamed that all I can think when I read this story is, “Holy hell, how can I get a job where I get to stick mirrored tassels on pendulous breasts and then sit back and watch them bounce around a track all afternoon?” It is disrespectful, juvenile and sexist, and I am very sorry. But, you know, COME ON.