Questions For: The Swastika

Q. How do you feel about the Anti-Defamation League’s announcement that it would no longer be counting every report of a graffitied swastika in its annual audit of anti-Semitic hate crimes? The group’s national director Abraham Foxman, declared you a “universal symbol of hate,” saying you were now “used as an epithet against African-Americans, Hispanics and gays, as well as Jews.”

A. Well, first of all, I’d like to thank them. I’m honored. It’s a very nice feeling to have been recognized as being more than a just symbol of anti-Semitism. But it’s bittersweet, too, you know?

I’ll miss being automatically included on the Jews’ list every year. And I want to them know that I still hate them just as much as I ever did. And that they’ll always have a special place in my heart. But Abe’s right: I’ve grown. There’s more things I want to do in this world, more people I want to offend than just Jews.

Your appearance last year on the Plymouth Rock was cited as evidence that your intentions had changed. Is that as accurate assessment?

Yes, definitely. That’s a good example. When I went up on that rock, that was like a “keep out” sign to anyone from anywhere who was thinking about coming to this country. Like, a middle-finger to everyone. Fuck the world! I hate you all! It’s funny, that was actually an Irish kid who sprayed me there. And, you know, a hundred, hundred-fifty years ago, I would have been trying to keep him out. The world’s a strange place.

You were adopted as a fashion symbol by punk rockers in the late ’70s. A lot of people thought that might have diluted your message. Did you feel cheapened by that?

Oh, no. I love punk rock. Oi! Oi! Oi! You know that in the ’80s, Jewish kids in New York were wearing me on their clothes. Ha! Meshuggeneh! No future! But no, it’s all good. Manson, too. Shout out to Charlie.

And how do you feel about the original co-option, when Hitler brought you to Germany from India?

Oh, I’m still all over India, you know. I’m totally mainstream there. In every temple, on the back of every cab. It’s nice to get back there and be able to blend in. Like, just go to shopping or go get a samosa or something, and not ’cause such a ruckus. But then some tourist will see me-and I’ll know it’s a Jew if their eyes pop out of their head and they start sweating more and look all uncomfortable in my presence. But then sometimes if it’s someone else, like, a politician or a famous movie star, sometimes I’ll get like just a discreet and satisfied nod of approval. Either way, it’s nice, because, it’s like, yeah, I still got it! You know, people in India say that I was actually the source of Hitler’s power. That he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish half of what he did without me. Because over there, they think I represent the rays of the sun, and so that when Hitler started putting me on all the arm bands and stuff, he was like, harnessing the power of the sun and shit. That’s pretty awesome, right? The power of the sun! We almost took over the world, me and him. Those were good times. I mean, unspeakably evil too.

Do you feel that perhaps your best days are in the past? That you may in fact be losing some of that power by spreading yourself too thin?

Please, baby, there’s enough of me to go around! But seriously, no. Not at all. Did you see what Rabbi Abraham Cooper said, from the Simon Wiesenthal Center? “The swastika is shorthand for every racist and bigot on the planet.” That’s right! I’m worldwide now. He said that it was amazing that 70 years after the holocaust, I hadn’t lost any of my potency. That is pretty amazing, when you think about it. They’re no dummies, those Jews. I’m taking it to a whole ‘nother level.