Knifecrime Island Cops A Little Too Taser-Happy

Despite what their tabloid press would have you believe, crime in Britain has actually declined over the last ten years. What could account for such a sizable drop in a nation so fond of stabbery and generalized knifeplay? Perhaps we can attribute it to the efforts of the constabulary, who apparently believe no infraction too minor. Take the case of Peter Cox, motorist, as an example.

A man was shot in the groin with a 50,000 volt Taser gun by police who wrongly believed he had been driving without insurance.

Peter Cox was given the electric shock after he climbed out of his BMW to talk to officers who had been following him.

He had a brief conversation with them but suddenly collapsed to the ground in agony when one of the policemen discharged the weapon.

Yesterday Mr Cox, 49, said he was considering legal action against the force after it said the gun had been fired accidentally. In addition, it later emerged Mr Cox’s car was insured.

If the lawsuit doesn’t work out he could probably make a decent bit selling “Don’t Tase My Todger” t-shirts. That or, “Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s The-OH MY FUCKING CHRIST YOU TASED ME IN THE GROIN.” Although that one might need to use both the front and back to get the whole message across.