New Soda Beverage Made of Chili is Hot

I’m sorry but have you guys tried these “Prometheus Springs” semi-soda things? They are “the world’s first capsaicin spiced elixir.” I tried the “lychee-wasabi” one and the “pomegranate-black pepper” one, because I am gay and therefore drawn to new product rollouts. Guess what? IT BURNS. Is this the future of beverages? The burning? The burning becomes somewhat pleasurable after a bit. In other news, capsaicin (8-methyl-N-vanillyl-6-nonenamide!) either causes or prevents tumors or does neither of those. PLEASE REPORT BACK.