Spouse Profiled

If he’s as concerned as he says he is by all the “people that are from all over and they’re killers and rapists and they’re coming into this country,” he might consider building a wall around his pants. . .

He didn’t make it to Raka, where her maternal grandfather accidentally cross-bred a Ptuj and an Egyptian, creating the famed Raka red onion. . .

She has taken on her husband’s signature pout, in a connubial version of people who grow to look like their dogs. . .

These are just a few of the best lines from Lauren Collins’s Melania Trump profile, if you can call it that — as Collins writes, “Her story is so vacuous as to almost require the imagination to spackle its holes.”