"Gummy Bear" Breast Implants: Because Oh Sure Why Not

My favorite item in The Daily Beast’s look at plastic surgeries that are so idiotic out-there that they make me ache all over when I read about them (seriously, iris implants?): Gummy bear breast implants. No, they don’t affect the flavor of the implantee’s nipples. (Sorry. On the bright side, I’m sure someone’s working on that innovation as I type this!) Instead: “Cohesive silicone gel implants, nicknamed ‘gummy bear’ implants, are fake breasts that can more easily be molded to form the natural teardrop shape of women’s breasts… [T]heir texture and consistency is similar to that of the sweet treat.” Natural fakeness! But can you order them in green? After the jump, a song to commemorate this miracle of modern medical technology.