BREAKING: Madonna Allows Lola To Type in Public

This is, to put it very plainly, a huge gay catastrophe! The tween clothing line that Madonna and her daughter Lola are doing for Macy’s is getting pimped to high heaven, because it hits stores soon, and the latest bit of marketing is… a blog post. Written by Lola herself-a “From The iDesk of Lola” kind of thing, to rile up the tweens. It’s sort of heartbreaking, actually. Beginning, as it does, “Helluuur thurrrr, I’m Lola and this is my first blog entry so it’s kind of like ummmm…..”

That’s almost an expression of thought! LISTEN, let me say also, that when I was her age, I was probably incoherent while both writing and speaking! I bet she’s a vital and smart young woman! And this is not entirely a new thing… but it’s a thing we’re encouraging.

There is some talk about fashion. I guess that’s good that she cares about fashion?

So I want to know what you guys think about rompers… is that like a hit or miss, ‘cause I’m not sure. If you comment, be sure to tell me what you think. OK but no joke gladiator sandals are OUT. They came out in summer 2008 and I was like, ok those are really cute. Then 2009 comes around and people are still wearing them so I’m like, ok whatever it’s just a phase. BUT NOOOOO. Because good old 2010 is now coming along and people are STILL wearing them, and then I was just like OK NO! It’s been three years people COME ON!!!!!!!!! I’m just like what????

Now, admittedly, some of us are twice (oops, thrice? Yikes!) her age and we write like this too sometimes! But overall this makes me feel really bad for her and the youngs and the Internet and the future and everyone involved.