Louisiana Coast Forecast: Oily, Ruined (Like Bobby Jindal's Career)

The funny thing about life as a religious person is that, even when you are pretty sure God has told you to do something, sometimes you weren’t necessarily hearing God right, and so God tells you something louder. (The Bible is full of stories like this!) And so now the Christians in the White House and the Christians in the Palin House can sit back and watch the massive Gulf oil spill take on the delta of Louisiana. The lesson is clear: GOD HATES PELICANS. We must destroy them all with oil. Or maybe it’s something else, I’m not sure, God and I have an appointment at 10:35 a.m., I’ll report back. The only (bitterly) amusing part of all of this is watching volcano-hating states-rightist Louisiana governor “Bobby” Jindal running to the federal government for help. Oh, but to be fair to Jindal, he’s the one who sponsored and lobbied for the pro-Gulf continental shelf drilling “Deep Ocean Energy Resources Act,” so basically, he was kind of out there asking for this. Man, nature has it IN for that guy’s “policies” this year!