Men With Flat Voices Help Chicks Make Bad Choices

Hey ladies: Turns out you cannot keep away from guys with monotonous voices and assertive messaging, according to Science.

A study carried out at universities in California and Pennsylvania found that men whose frequency of voice varied the least reported the most sexual relationships. Another factor was their use of strong, dominant language.

The study uses George Clooney and Clint Eastwood as examples of the kind of men whose utterings make the women swoon, but as someone with a resonant, bass-heavy intonation and impassive timbre, I will simply add my agreement to the results of this research. Now go get me a drink and come sit over here.