If Jesus Christ Was Really Packing A Dong That Big I Would Probably Worship Him Too

Parishioners at St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church near Oklahoma City are outraged by a crucifix that they say depicts the Son of God’s, uh, manhood. “Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering Jesus’ abdominal area. [Rev. Philip] Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen ‘showing distension’ — not a penis.” You can judge for yourself below, but let’s just say that given everything going on with the Catholic Church these days, I’d be inclined to paint my crucifixes like Ken dolls down there, just to be on the safe side.