Odd Man Rush: Your Truncated Stanley Cup Playoffs Preview
Odd Man Rush: Your Truncated Stanley Cup Playoffs Preview
by copyranter
The regular season’s over! Let’s have a brief but heated discussion of the eight NHL post-season series, some of which will be much briefer and less heated than others. Thanks to my NHL Center Ice subscription, I’ve seen every team play at least a couple of games. I will combine this amateur scouting with my sublime knowledge of the game to make pointless guesses as to which eight teams will move on.
First, an observation: I found the play this year to be exceedingly sloppy and boring. Sure, the skating is faster, but no one can make a fucking pass. The talent pool has become so watered down, mainly because there are about six too many clubs in the league. And the rinks need to be widened. Yesterday.
Eastern Conference
•No. 1 Washington vs. No. 8 Montreal: The Capitals are the favorite to win the Cup. But Les Canadiens are the team I root for. Washington, led by Alexes Ovechkin and Semin (what a wrist shot) scored 101 more goals this season than the Habs. But, the Habs have the best goalie since the Olympic break in Jaroslav Halak. The Caps keeper is shaky ex-Canadien Jose Theodore. The Habs’ leading scorer Tomas Plekanec idiotically talked smack about Theodore. No matter, the Capitals forwards will prove to be too much to handle for the Canadiens weak defensemen. Washington in five.
•No. 2 New Jersey vs. No. 7 Philadelphia: I hate both of these teams. I respect the Devils, though. Their team defense is a year-in, year-out marvel. And Martin Brodeur is a money goalie, though he’s sliding a bit. The addition of Ilya Kovalchuk (nice trade, Thrashers) gave New Jersey one of the most explosive offensive players in the league. The Flyers won 5 of 6 meetings this season. That means absolutely nothing. Devils in six.
•No. 3 Buffalo vs. No. 6 Boston: The Sabres have U.S. Olympic hero Ryan Miller between the pipes. The Bruins have, in defenseman Zdeno Chara, a man who stands over 7′ tall on skates. Sabres in six. Why? I don’t really know. How ‘bout because…fuck you, Don Cherry?
•No. 4 Pittsburgh vs. No. 5 Ottawa: The Penguins are of course the defending champs. Sidney Crosby is of course the annoying savior of a nation. But Pittsburgh is vulnerable this year, mainly because the usually rock solid Marc-Andre Fleury has been inconsistent in net. Still, I pick Pittsburgh, because a Capitals-Penguins rematch just needs to happen. Penguins in 6.
Western Conference
First a caveat. I haven’t watched these teams play nearly as much, and don’t know them as well as the Eastern clubs. I do know that this conference is deeper than the East, though I still think the East has more true Cup contenders in Washington, Pittsburgh, and New Jersey.
•No. 1 San Jose vs. No. 8 Colorado: The Sharks are, if you didn’t know, the post-season joke of the NHL. Every year, they chomp through regular season, and every year, they tank in the playoffs. This year, they will at least make it to the 2nd round. And, the tenacious and talented Dany Heatley could just maybe help San Jose de-hex themselves and get to the finals. Sharks in 5.
•No. 2 Chicago vs. No. 7 Nashville: An EA Sports simulation picked the Blackhawks and their cool sweaters to win it all, so they better beat the Predators. But Hawk goalie Antti Niemi has never played in the playoffs. I think the Predators might win this series, but I’m picking the Blawkhawks in 7. Because, Nashville?
•No. 3 Vancouver vs. No. 6 Los Angeles: I don’t know/care. But, fuck Hollywood, the Canucks in 6.
•:No. 4 Phoenix vs. No. 5 Detroit: This is the one Western series that I care about, because the Red Wings are the only Western team I like. And because Detroit is the only Western team that can win the Cup (says me). They’re an old team, but they were champs two years ago, and they were the best team in the league the last two months of the season. A rookie goalie is a big concern for them, though. And the Coyotes’ netminder Ilya Bryzgalov is a wall. Detroit in 6. Mainly because, the Coyotes?
In June, the champions will raise the Cup. Excited, Americans? Don’t lie, Nielsen is watching you. You know who is excited? The Liberians. Well, about the jerseys, anyway.
If I didn’t cover your team to your satisfaction-likely, since I didn’t cover my team to my satisfaction-go read the in-depth playoff previews at the stupidly named Yahoo hockey blog Puck Daddy. Editor Greg Wyshynski is thorough.
Copyranter is an ad copywriter who blogs about advertising here. Before selling out, he was a sports reporter for several small newspapers, including a daily where he covered the Philadelphia Flyers. He knows his way around a rink, having majored in hockey in college-which led to his graduating with a 2.8 GPA in Communications and a wicked wrist shot.