Tao of Dow: When Standing Cats Attack

by Simon Dumenco

The Awl’s Morning Market Report:

• The Dow Jones Industrial Average inched up this morning as investors expressed relief that Standing Cat is not a crazy Asian chick in a very convincing cat suit, but an actual cat named Rocky that French journalist Aude Baron reveals, via Boing Boing, “is 2 years old and his owners are French (Daisy and Yann). Rocky used to stand up because he couldn’t see the birds through the windows, and wanted to, so he stood up…. He doesn’t stand up too often any more because Daisy and Yann moved their stuff, so now Rocky can see everything without having to go bipedal.”
• The Nasdaq was basically flat this morning as investors digested news that Standing Cat, who was expected to be a boon for the economy — with planned Standing Cat theme parks, scrunchies, glitter tote bags, Trapper Keepers and bedspreads — was actually pre-dated by other standing felines, including Mocha. Mocha’s been on YouTube since January 2008, and the market is up overall like 2000% or something in the last year, so clearly we have already benefited from the Standing Cat Stimulus.