Fast Food Makes You Impatient, Obese

It is already responsible for our nation’s obesity epidemic, and it provides most Americans with the majority of fecal material they unwittingly eat each week, but could fast food also be the cause of our growing impatience? Science says yes!

In one experiment, the researchers flashed fast food symbols, such as the golden arch of McDonald’s, on a computer screen for a few milliseconds, so quick that participants couldn’t consciously identify what they saw.

In a subsequent task, those who had been exposed to the symbols read faster than participants not exposed to fast food, even when there was no advantage to finishing sooner. In another study, participants who recalled a time when they ate at a food restaurant subsequently preferred time-saving products, such as a two-in-one shampoo, over regular products.

A final experiment found people exposed to fast food logos exhibited greater reluctance for saving, choosing a smaller immediate payment rather than opting for a much larger delayed payment.

The researchers concede that fast food might just as well be a symptom of our society’s desire-ah, fuck it, I’m not gonna string out another hundred words on this, it’ll take forever. Here’s your takeaway: Fast food is the reason you can’t sit still on your enormous ass. Also, it is full of doody. Next post please!