Binge Drinking Won't Mess Up Your Test Scores, Says Evil Scientist

A joint study between Brown and Boston Universities shows that binge drinking does not affect test-taking abilities:

Over a four-day period, the 193 student participants were given either an alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverage. The students who received alcoholic beverages drank until they had a blood-alcohol level of 0.12. The next day, participants took practice versions of the Graduate Record Exam and a mock quiz on a lecture they received the previous afternoon.

Whether they were sober or inebriated the previous night, all of the students received similarly high scores on both exams.

There are the usual “blah blah blah binge drinking is still bad for you” warnings from the dude who conducted the study, but whatever: I think the real crime here is that nearly 100 college students had to go four days without a drink. That is some Stanley Milgram-style wrong going on there.