Emu Dies In Suspicious Circumstances

A “mad emu” was on the loose in El Paso yesterday, “snarling rush-hour traffic near Interstate 10 and attacking deputies trying to restrain it.” The emu was eventually restrained, but died en route to an animal shelter. Authorities say that the bird’s cause of death is unknown, but I think we all pretty much understand what happens when you’re taken in custody after you’ve assaulted a cop. I’m sure the bird just “tripped” or something.