Woman Refuses To Pretend That Brooklyn Is As Good As Manhattan

“This is New York: We all like things our own way. We all think we’re the best. I love New York City — every inch of it, even Staten Island, but I prefer to live in Manhattan. So, what? My friends love Brooklyn. Great! I think it’s time we shelve this antiquated story line about which borough is better and leave it for the Knicks and the Nets to decide. Live where you want. Do what you want. Be nice to people.”
 — What’s more irritating about all your friends who have moved to Brooklyn, the way they expect you to give up an hour of your life to the F train so that you can come visit them and eat overpriced Italian food that is only notable for the fact that it is being served in a borough where a mere two generations ago a collection of angry old ladies in black would have dumped you in their garbage river for attempting to sell the cuisine of poverty at that ludicrous price point or the way we’re all supposed to pretend that people who have moved to Brooklyn haven’t given up, that they can’t handle the intensity of Manhattan any more and would rather live in a less crowded space where you get more room for your money and everyone isn’t on top of you all the time and the pulse of existence is better suited for the gentle souls who would prefer to take things a little bit more slowly and avoid all the aggravation and nonstop craziness with which those of us who make the effort to stay in town contend? Like, terrific, good for you, move where you’re happy, but don’t expect me to participate in your little charade that you’re still living in New York, okay? You go to your adorable rummage sale in Fort Greene and then get your fancy $13 cocktail on Smith Street and pat yourself on the back: you may live in a suburb, but you live in the best suburb there is, because it is the closest to the greatest city in the world, and that’s something to be proud of. Anyway, here are some further thoughts.