Movie Promises to be 'Citizen Kane' of Movies About Being Cold

People are making movies out of nothin’ at all these days. This I admire! And yet am obviously concerned that the Oscar-winning Talking Butt Movie Era of the Future is nearly upon us. For instance, people seem extremely excited about “Frozen,” which opens on Friday and in which three people are stuck on a ski lift. Yes. It is apparently the “Piranha” of chair lift movies! From the less commercial side of the world, there is also a new film called “Rubber,” by Mr. Oizo/Quentin Dupieux. In it, “Robert, a tire that has been abandoned in the desert, suddenly comes to life, for no reason. He learns how to get around, explores the desert and discovers in himself a passion for destroying insects and various lost items.” Later Robert learns to explode people’s heads. I mean, I guess people were probably really nervous when someone was like, “I’m going to make a movie about this one shark that terrorizes a beach!” And also “This guy finds an ear then has sexy sex with this lady but lives happily ever after.” And I guess “Rapey thug gets deprogrammed with classical music.” But shouldn’t I be a little nervous?