A Call To Big Arms

A study entitled The Progressive Increase of Food Waste in America and its Environmental Impact found that we waste 1,400 calories per person per day which is enough food to sustain a very thin or small or old person or a regular biggish man-person if two people team up and waste food together. This is insane given the USDA’s report that one-in-seven Americans did not have access to enough food last year. This sort of information, like the Times telling us that “many numbers of people use food stamps now: sadface,” doesn’t stay in my head because math is hard like reading books and shoplifting candy is so easy.

Anyway, over the last week I ate and drank 4,700–6,300 calories each day paid for by other people and their families and now actually feel something. The poor people are banging around under the door in the floor and I’m recalling all sorts of things about them because at an art show I ran into a young hipster photographer friend that I only thought had gotten more attractive-looking but had actually LOST WEIGHT from real-life poverty. Like, he’s not even going to Art Basel.

So even though it’s a thorny issue and I’m not suggesting pounding door-to-door in Williamsburg or the LES doling out a basketful of charity tubers dressed in little gingham waistcoats, I think all of us should go check up on the “most likely to be hungry” amongst our friends. Especially if they didn’t make the best of career decisions and did rash mongo things like “go into print.” Besides, you can just grab everything that’s just shy of rancid in your fridge and drown it in a pot to make a hot cheap meal. If you use a little corn starch, the gruel gets to be murky, JUST LIKE REAL FOOD.