Please Do Not Buy A Ticket To The Pizza Show

Even though I know we both want to.

Don’t lie: you didn’t know how long pizza dough was “supposed” to rise in the first place, you’ve never cared about it before, and you never will again. Image: William Jones

Of the price, Mr. Tolia said: “I’m not the right person to ask. I’m a sucker for these kinds of things.” (And the price will rise. “This is an introductory price for the month of May,” Mr. DeGrezia said. “It’s just way too much work for the price. It’s not going to skyrocket, but it is going to be a bit more.”)

The Rise of the $38 Pizza, Exclusive and Elusive

The $38 “pizza experience” is probably going to cost $50 soon, so uh, I don’t know, maybe you could get it now and be like one of those people who saw Hamilton when it was still at The Public and never had to pay eight hundred dollars for a ticket, but on the other hand you could buy 13.8 [iconic] New York slices from Joe’s in the West Village. I realize that most full-size pizzas already cost like $25 anyway, so what’s another $13 thrown on top, but it’s not really about the money that you’re definitely going to spend on something equally frivolous because at this rate none of us is going to be able to retire anyway, but more about the principle of setting your money on fire to worship at the altar of the latest symbol of food idolatry.

Also, for fuck’s sake, it’s called a pizza shoppE, really?! I thought that was outlawed in 2006. You’re welcome for the lack of ~dough~ puns.