Meaning Clarified

In her story about the looming earthquake that will obliterate practically all of the cool parts of the Pacific Northwest, Kathryn Schulz quoted Kenneth Murphy, the head of the FEMA division responsible for the region: “Our operating assumption is that everything west of Interstate 5 will be toast.” Alarming! Today, Schulz clarified what Murphy meant by toast, precisely:

What Murphy did not mean is that everyone west of I-5 will be injured or killed; FEMA’s casualty figures, while horrifying, amount to under one-half of one per cent of the population of the region. Nor did he mean that every structure west of the interstate will fail, although there the numbers are grimmer: region-wide, the agency expects to see seriously damaged or destroyed eighty-eight per cent of ports and potable water sources; seventy-seven per cent of fire stations and waste-water treatment plants; two-thirds of all airports, hospitals, railways, and schools; almost half of all highway bridges, police stations, and emergency command centers; plus almost three thousand miles of natural gas pipelines, seven hundred and forty-three electric power facilities, and nearly a million residential buildings.

… So a better analogy than toast is this: the Cascadia earthquake is going to hit the Pacific Northwest like a rock hitting safety glass, shattering the region into thousands of tiny areas, each isolated from one another and all extremely difficult to reach. That’s why Murphy’s plan involves, in his words, “leasing, buying, or stealing any helicopter I can get my hands on.” Helicopters can’t do everything, but they can, at least, get almost anywhere. (FEMA has also made arrangements with the U.S. Navy Third Fleet to conduct a massive sea-lift operation for those stranded on the coast — but, for logistical reasons, it will take the fleet seven days from the time of the quake to arrive.)

Hmm, have you considered moving to Farmington Hills, Michigan?

Photo by Stephen Kruso