Only 32 More Days Until "Fast & Furious 6"

There are movies again! The previews in the theaters right now are batting 100% in the “sure, I will see the f out of your expensive movie, even that weird one that’s about magicians that give away money by robbing banks through magic, whatever the heck that is, and however they got Mark Ruffalo in it, and also that weird movie about dead people being a post-mortem detective agency that is basically a ‘Men In Black’ reverse spin-off.” But! May 24th. That is when the most important cultural moment of our year takes place, when Fast & Furious 6 arrives. Can you believe there have only been six of these movies? It feels somehow like there are more. There have only been five Final Destination movies, after all. Forget Star Trek. Forget everything else (except Elysium, because, yes please). Is this too low-brow for you? Well then get out. You can enjoy staying home with “Rectify,” which, I do not believe the hype in the slightest. Sounds like garbage. Fast and Furious. Forget all your troubles. America. Beep beep. Cars.